Confronting Travel Anxiety
Ever since reading 7 habits of highly effective teens in high school the use of words like comfort zone and paradigm have been highlighted by my brain when listening to people speak. In the idea of a comfort zone is the ability to expand it by operating in the area where you are uncomfortable. It hasn’t even been a week so perhaps I’m expecting a bit much especially since the drive down was pretty tame as far as doing something out of the ordinary; but the anxiety attacks seem rather server so far.
I spent most of the night Sunday before leaving Rochester, flip flopping on whether to go through with it. I don’t know how long I writhed in my bed until I committed to the idea and was able to fall asleep.
Tired and feeling a bit ill I wrapped up a few things I had remaining and it passed when my stoic mask was put on to chat with my grandfather and a few friends before leaving. I was good till we hard the car nearly packed and I felt nervousness again growing. I grew comfortable on the drive down, dealing mostly with nauseousness from the length of the drive but realizing for the time most worries were out of my hands. However, having arrived in Texas its become time to figure out my next move.
Between overeating a bit and feeling stressed, soon as I had time to myself I was shaking, feeling nauseous and overwhelming myself with questions about the whole trip. Walking is an option but when you consider the math of it, it does seem a bit absurd. A full day of walking (20-24 miles) is like 30-40 minutes in a car.
The bus ticket is definitely cheaper than the cost of food while walking for a month between here and the first farm. Stands to reason that it would be true of any great distance making buses the way to prolong the length of the trip in addition to a greater variety of locations possible. My qualms with abandoning aspects of the original idea seem to grow fewer but I do wonder if in doing so I’m making my search to understand what I would enjoy doing harder.
I’m growing accustom to handling my friend’s 10 month old though and the trip down wasn’t anywhere near as bad as she thought it would be. Even if theres no sudden change I am learning to be in the moment and I’ve gotten more confident in dealing with a toddler. Still plenty to learn yet though.
